Free To Be...You And Me

So when I was a little girl, circa the early 1980's, when my hair was permed and my favorite accessory was a totally rad fanny pack. (I wish I were joking!) This was my mom's favorite album to play for my brother and me. Marlo Thomas and Friends "Free to be, You and Me."

It is pretty dated but let me assure you that the messages presented via Marlo Thomas are still as relevant today as they were 30 years ago. Equality. Acceptance. Freedom.

There is an awesome track about a little boy, (William) who is being teased by his friends and family for wanting to get a doll of his very own. William is at his wits end until his grandma comes to visit and gives the critics a talking to. Explaining that he wants a doll so that he can practice being a good daddy.

So, my brother and I each had a Cabbage Patch doll. My son has one too, along with some of my old, and now raggedy looking dolls. My son LOVES them and practices disciplining them and nursing them. (They all seem to need a lot of time outs and always seem to be battling a bad cold.) These moments help define what parenting is, in his 4-year old opinion. It is fun to hear him and to watch him practice this role. I have always felt that he is emulating the role of the nurturer and what a good thing to pretend.

What do you all think, my friends, do you think there is anything wrong with a boy playing with a doll? Do you have any similar stories about children wanting to play with toys that society says are "not for them?"

Thankful Thursday

On my mission to be a better and more thoughtful parent, it occurs to me that I need to spend more time being thankful for the amazing things in our world. It could be as simple as being able to sleep in in the morning until you actually wake up on your own, without an alarm, without a kiddo demanding your attention, without a rushed and hectic schedule to attend to. It can be for a great cup of coffee or a long conversation with a good friend.

I think that we can encourage our children to have an attitude of gratitude by letting them hear us show our appreciation for the little joys all around us. This is a series that I will be continuing to post about once a week and I would love for you to join me in being more aware of the great yet simple moments that bring pleasure to all of our lives.

Today I am thankful for a good cup of coffee and a rainy grey early spring morning. I am going out on a limb by calling it "spring," but after the waist high piles of snow that have blanketed the world around me for the last 3 months, the sound of drizzle is a welcome sign of things to come. My son was at his dad's house last night, so I got to just lay in bed with my cup of coffee and a computer and listen to the sound of the world being washed clean.

I know we will get more snow. I also know that this rain means I will be sloshing and slopping around campus this afternoon.  But, right now, at the moment I am writing this I am warm and rested and inspired.

I am reminded, as I write this post, about a book I read a few years ago (and have given as a gift several times), called The Book of Awesome. This book is a collection of awesome and free things, moments, occasions, smells and sounds that surround us during our life time. There was a short writing on the sound of rain from inside of a tend that I think you guys would enjoy reading as much as I did, check it out. 

I hope you all enjoy today and find something to be thankful for, be it big or small. If you have one of those moments today, please take the time to share it with me. Next time you are having trouble remembering what all those little things are in life, pick up this book and be reminded.

-Jenni

It's the little things...



Photos Courtesy of www.genderremixer.com

It is so true that the little things can sometimes bring the most joy. Well, I had that kind of moment today. I was exposed to an awesome website! It is totally entertaining and easy. It is also kind of scary to see how differntly toys are marketed to boys and girls.

Basically the premise is that you pick a "boy" toy and a "girl" toy and reverses the advertisement for the two. So think a pirate toy's commercial language over the visual image of some ponies playing house.When you see one commercial with another gendered set of audio, it is amazing what jumps out at you.

For me, I was able to pick out the marketing stratagies more clearly because of the over-lap. The announcer's for the "boy" toys seem to have come straight from the nearest monster truck rally, while the "girl" toy's advertising voices are sweet and wistful. Manly, tough, rugged, grrr.... VS. House, whispers, colorful, shhhh...the baby is sleeping. The it is impactful to see the gender binary in such a visual way.

I sometimes think that my son reacts to one toy or another based on the color of the item. It seems that girl toys are always pink and lavender and boys lean toward primary and bright colors. But kids are getting audio messages to reinforce the gender that the toy is intended for.

So add this to my to-do list: Design and produce a pink, purple and glittery pirate ship and see how confused it makes my son!

Please enjoy playing around with this remixer and let me know what you think.

About This Blog

I am the mom of a rambunctious and brilliant and challenging 4-year old son. He is busy trying to learn about the world all around him and testing out where he thinks he fits into it all. It is a struggle trying to keep him balanced when he is with his dad part of the time. His dad and I do co-parent well together for the most part but, my son has two different sets of rules and two very different ideologies that he has to constantly bounce back and forth between.

I worry about the message that little boys seem to get, that they need to be "tough!" I hear my son say things like: "Dad says I can't cry." Or he will question whether boys can like this music or that. I try on a daily basis to encourage him to "be just who he is and like what he likes," but worry constantly that my messages aren't sinking in.

I want to examine the messages that my son, among other children, hear in our modern media driven material world. I am so curious about what he thinks makes something appeal to either "boys" or "girls." I want to encourage my son's curiosity about people and differences and similarities, while fostering within him an attitude of acceptance.

I think that the differences that we all have from each other are beautiful. I hope that I can impress that admiration into part of my son's personal identity. Andre Lorde, a feminist and civil rights activist said, "It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences."

Lets work together to start "Celebrating our differences!"

-Jenni